How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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