I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
