You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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