He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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