You're completely useless in the revolution.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
