i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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