Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
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Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
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You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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