I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
