then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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