he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
