So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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