how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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