Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
