I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
