I just made out with a guy for $7.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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