he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
