Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
