i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
