brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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