if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
