You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
