Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
