capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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