I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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