The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ketchup is God's man juice
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize