i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish i was in the wii world.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Can I color on your dick again?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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