____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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