i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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