i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
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