he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
