how can u be prego again
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
