3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
