areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
