in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
