My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dignity is for republicans.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
