Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
