also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
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I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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