we're blogging at a bar
Ketchup is God's man juice
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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