i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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