My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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