The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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