Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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