break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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