seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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