its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you traded sex for a burrito?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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