hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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