Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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