If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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