If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
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I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
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I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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