your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
