guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
