Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize