Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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