How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
