WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
