Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
