Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
