Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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