WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
