the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
if only i could text you this smell
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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