Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
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I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
All I want is dick and wine.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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